NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” first came on the air a half century ago, and one of the recurring bits was in the “Weekend Update” segment, where Chevy Chase would read this announcement:

The joke, of course, was based on the fact that before Francisco Franco’s death, the three major news networks were running the same story, every day, about the Spanish dictator’s deteriorated condition, to the point where people actually thought Franco had already died. Because he ruled a fascist state, the party apparatchiks were busy putting together a new government and keeping the demise quiet until everything was in place.

This has been running through my mind for the past few weeks, because we in Kentucky are being kept in the dark on the health of our senior U.S. senator, Mitch McConnell.

As CNN reported this week:

US Sen. Mitch McConnell has been hospitalized for three weeks, and it’s still not clear why he was admitted or what his condition is.

Aides for the Kentucky Republican have been fiercely protective of his condition – publicly and privately – during his hospitalization.

Despite requests for updates from CNN, his office has not disclosed a medical reason for the hospitalization or provided specifics on his health status beyond saying last week that he “continues to improve” and “is working closely with his staff on Kentucky and Senate matters.”

The lack of information has sparked questions over McConnell’s health – and has led to speculation and rumors online that his health had significantly deteriorated.

Now, a number of Republicans have said they’ve spoken to him “for 20 minutes.” Let’s have local television station WLKY pull on this thread.

Scott Jennings, of Kentucky, is a former advisor to the 84-year-old Republican senator. He now serves as a national political contributor to CNN. On Tuesday, Jennings posted on X just before 1 p.m. that he spoke to McConnell for several minutes this morning.

“I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning, the senior Senator from Kentucky. He’s still recovering in the hospital. We talked for just shy of 20 minutes … about IRAN, UKRAINE, the unfolding situation in MAINE, my visit to the TR Presidential Library, and even a little bit of Senate history. I told him we want to see him back at work as soon as possible,” the post said. 

WLKY has reached out to Jennings for more details.

We then got a statement from Senate Majority Leader John Thune’s team, who said he spoke with McConnell Monday by phone, released around 1:30 p.m. “They had a lengthy and substantive conversation that covered a variety of topics, including national security,” the statement said.

Another statement came in from Senate Whip John Barrasso (R) also just before 1:30 p.m.:

“Senator Barrasso and Senator McConnell had a lengthy conversation early this afternoon. Their phone call lasted roughly 20 minutes. They caught up about the latest news impacting Senate races, the Graham Platner scandal, and the recent Supreme Court ruling on coordinated spending limits. They also discussed the Senate’s July work period, including the need to pass the NDAA and confirm President Trump’s nominee for Director of National Intelligence. Senator McConnell was fully engaged and is eager to get back to the Senate.”

Quickly after receiving all of these, McConnell’s office put out an email to news outlets “flagging” the same three statements.

Or, as the fake-news (and they admit that’s what they are) broadcast, “The Daily Show”, put it:

Notice a pattern here?

Republicans have a tendency to regurgitate the same talking points whenever they put their “big lie” together. They’ve done it for years to the point where you know if they’re giving the same line, you can be sure talking points have been distributed and they’re lying.

Now, that we’re living in a protofascist nation, led by an Orange Menace con man, rapist, racist billionaire goon, the memories of Franco’s death in Spain can almost be seen as the blueprint for keeping Schrodinger’s senator’s seat frozen until it’s too late to call a special election to fill the remainder of McConnell’s term.

This from Lex News 18:

Kentucky has a plan if it suddenly loses a U.S. senator — but that plan has changed significantly in recent years, and questions remain about how it would work in practice.

The state updated its U.S. Senate succession law in 2024, eliminating the option for a temporary appointment and instead requiring the governor to call a special election if a seat becomes vacant. Until that election takes place, Kentucky would have only one sitting U.S. senator.

Of course, the news report doesn’t highlight the fact that this change was made by a Republican supermajority in the state legislature and specify that this was passed around the time McConnell started “glitching” in public. This happened in 2024:

First of all, that law should have never been passed by Bluegrass Republicans. I was in California when Sen. Dianne Feinstein died in 2023, and the governor appointed a replacement (not a successor) so the state would have a voice in Washington in the interim. Note that California’s election for Feinstein’s successor didn’t happen until 2024, and they didn’t waste money on a special election.

And, obviously, a special election will unnecessarily cost millions of dollars at a time when Kentucky citizens can’t even afford food or medical care. Our deadline for a special election is Aug. 3. Our Election Day is Nov. 3. So Republicans are forcing us to spend millions of dollars for someone to sit in a seat for three months.

That’s bullshit.

But that “is” the law. Our governor, Democrat Andy Beshear, has to announce the election. I get the feeling that isn’t going to happen, because it is a waste of money and because the GOP is doing everything to make sure the seat remains open with the expectation that the racist homophobe Andy Barr will win in November. Beshear should have been able to just name a fill-in and let the election process run as normal. But right now, Republicans and McConnell’s office aren’t even letting Kentucky’s governor know if Mitch is alive.

What should be the best way to find out if he’s alive? Well, if Mitch can talk to Republican stooges like Jennings, Thune and Barrasso, send a television crew to his hospital room, so we can have Mitch talk to us, his constituents.

And what can the state Democratic Party do in the meantime? Well, Mitch was elected last century using this ad.

Democrats! Update that ad and punch back, damn it! It’s what Republicans would do.

But I suspect the hounds won’t find Mitch, because it’s more likely he’s sharing notes with Franco (who is still dead) on the joys of fascism.